Wedding planning can be stressful… but it doesn’t have to be! With my 1 year wedding anniversary being this week, I’ve been reflecting on my wedding and the wedding planning experience. Here are 7 tips that I wish I knew when I started wedding planning. Knowing these tips in advance would have saved me hours of time and stress!
1. Set a budget and try to stay within it, but know that you will, undoubtedly, go over!
Things come up! Especially the last few days before the wedding. Leave a 10% “just in case” fund when completing your budget.
2. I learned to accept and handle the disappointment of declined RSVP’s.
When you first send out your wedding invitations, you think that of course all your besties and closest friends and family will be there!
One of the lessons I learned is that not everyone you thought would come will be there, and not everyone feels the same way about your wedding as you do.
Celebrate with the people that are there and be happy that the people who truly want to be there, will be.
3. Your Fiancé probably doesn’t care about the details nearly as much as you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care!
Men tend to focus on the big picture, on solving a problem and ultimately on making you happy. I would see my husband’s eyes glaze over every time I would start to mention what shape of flower bouquets I wanted, or what height of heel I needed to wear with my dress. Instead of constantly trying to get the “right” reaction from your fiancé, meet with a girlfriend, sister, or your mother on a bi-weekly or monthly basis to go over all the finer details and leave the big decisions to be made with your fiancé. You could even hire a wedding coordinator for one or two consultations during the wedding planning process. Chances are you’re on the right track and just need a sounding board to put all the details together.
4. It is inevitable, that no matter how hard you plan, things will go wrong on your wedding day.
Unless they are major issues like power outages, hospital visits, storms or the equivalent, you’ll have to make a choice to ignore every small set back and have the best day of your life.
Most of the guests won’t even notice anything was wrong. For me there was a laundry list of small issues;
- The venue didn’t set up the speakers we rented so the music was too quiet
- The dessert table had the wrong colour table cloth
- The non-alcoholic and alcoholic champagne got mixed up for the toast
- The food didn’t get served at the right times according to my plans
- The seating for the ceremony wasn’t assigned correctly
… At the end of the day, none of it mattered, what mattered was that I married my best friend.
5. Don’t let anyone turn you away from your vision of your dream wedding.
Work with your fiancé and customize it to who you are as a couple, not what you feel obliged to do. After our wedding we had a few people tell me that our wedding was exactly what they wish they had done. I learned that you shouldn’t settle on what other people want for your day. Don’t have a single regret after your wedding is done!
6. When people say “don’t stress over the details, because no one will notice”… they are lying!
If you’re a detail oriented person, you’ll notice! Start planning early and leave yourself enough time to get everything just how you want it. You’ll be glad you did and appreciate it all the more when people compliment your hard work! On the day of the wedding though.. refer back to #4!!
7. It’s o.k. to feel sad when it’s all over
I love wedding planning! I loved having a goal and being able to create, dream, and plan towards something amazing. To see your vision come to life at the end of it all is such a great feeling. I loved having all my closest family and friends together, in my city, to celebrate our commitment to each other. I loved it all so much that when it was all done it left such a big hole in my heart that I could only describe as mourning. I thought there was something wrong with me, but I learned that it’s perfectly normal! Post wedding blues is actually a thing!
As part of your planning process, plan something for after the wedding. Whether you’re taking a honeymoon right after, or registering for a language, dance or calligraphy class, find something you can look forward to after all the wedding excitement is over.
Wedding planning really is as stressful or as easy going as you make it. I truly loved the process and had the most unbelievable day ever! Enjoy the time planning, enjoy the wedding day, but remember. In the end it’s more about the marriage then the wedding!